I saw this quote and wanted to share with all of you. That's all :-)
"Just when the caterpillar thought the world was over, it became a butterfly" - Anonymous
2010 - a year that certainly won't be missed
I'm not going to give specifics, but this year has not been kind to me. At all. In any way shape or form, other than my Peace Corps nomination, which at this point in time is as big of a mystery as ever, so I'm not even sure if that's in my future or not. I just hope that this new year is a lot better than this past one has been to me and I hope it gets better for everyone else and the world as a whole.
So Goodbye 2010. I hope we never meet again.
So Goodbye 2010. I hope we never meet again.
A few of my favorite things
Just a random post about a few of my favorite things. I have a lot of favorite things, but I decided to randomly share some.
1) Snail mail from friends (and the Peace Corps).
2) When BAMF (my cat) is curled up in my arms or on my lap and she lets me pet the bridge of her nose, we're both happy.
3) Sleeping in.
4) Traveling.
5) Halloween.
6) Cold sheets when you get into bed so you can create a little warm spot with your body heat.
7) Flintstones Gummies vitamins.
8) Anything with a panda or octopus on it or involving one of those creatures.
9) Taking time to go through the Sunday paper, each Sunday, even if it is just for the funnies and coupons.
10) Mangos.
11) I'm skipping this number. (FYI, my 26th birthday is coming up on 1-11-11).
12) Brownies.
13) Zombies.
14) Riding my bike.
15) Painting my toes.
16) Being barefoot.
17) Spending a nice day under a tree with a good book, some noodles, tea and my guitar.
18) My body pillow.
19) Movies.
20) Bubble tea.
What are some of your favorite things?
1) Snail mail from friends (and the Peace Corps).
2) When BAMF (my cat) is curled up in my arms or on my lap and she lets me pet the bridge of her nose, we're both happy.
3) Sleeping in.
4) Traveling.
5) Halloween.
6) Cold sheets when you get into bed so you can create a little warm spot with your body heat.
7) Flintstones Gummies vitamins.
8) Anything with a panda or octopus on it or involving one of those creatures.
9) Taking time to go through the Sunday paper, each Sunday, even if it is just for the funnies and coupons.
10) Mangos.
11) I'm skipping this number. (FYI, my 26th birthday is coming up on 1-11-11).
12) Brownies.
13) Zombies.
14) Riding my bike.
15) Painting my toes.
16) Being barefoot.
17) Spending a nice day under a tree with a good book, some noodles, tea and my guitar.
18) My body pillow.
19) Movies.
20) Bubble tea.
What are some of your favorite things?
Early January Goals
I don't really do the resolution thing. January is actually my least favorite month of the year. Historically nothing good has ever happened in January. I'll explain the "curse" that my brother an I semi-joke about later. Right now I'm going to focus on the positive.
I have a few main goals in January. I have off from BOTH jobs on Sunday the 2nd and took vacation on Monday the 3rd. my overall goal is to condense and de-clutter. My goals are to at least begin the following.
1) Attack my bookshelves and closets for things to toss, recycle, sell and donate.
2) Set aside a box for things that I am picking up (water bottles etc) for my hopeful venture into the Peace Corps.
3) Watch the Netflix that have been sitting on my desk since October.
4) Go through my dvd's and blu-rays for keep vs. sell items.
5) Do at least 4 loads of laundry (curtains, sheets, comforters, etc).
6) Start reading at least 1 new book.
7) Try not to obsess over my Peace Corps application (hopefully these distractions will work)
8) Clean the grossness of the wooden floors that my roommate and I have successfully tracked in due to snow and the overall filth factor of where we live.
9) Try to spend time with some friends :-) (Gotta' throw some fun in there somewhere).
10) Finally mail gifts to people who have very belated Christmas presents coming.
11) I don't like this number.
12)This is a reach - maybe, attack my basement.
13) Go to the BMV for my stupid new PINK drivers license. Why we have to have a "salmon" colored drivers license is beyond me...
I'll let you all know how well this goes and of course if there is any news.
Congrats to those who have gotten invites recently :-) I can't wait to hear about your journeys!
I have a few main goals in January. I have off from BOTH jobs on Sunday the 2nd and took vacation on Monday the 3rd. my overall goal is to condense and de-clutter. My goals are to at least begin the following.
1) Attack my bookshelves and closets for things to toss, recycle, sell and donate.
2) Set aside a box for things that I am picking up (water bottles etc) for my hopeful venture into the Peace Corps.
3) Watch the Netflix that have been sitting on my desk since October.
4) Go through my dvd's and blu-rays for keep vs. sell items.
5) Do at least 4 loads of laundry (curtains, sheets, comforters, etc).
6) Start reading at least 1 new book.
7) Try not to obsess over my Peace Corps application (hopefully these distractions will work)
8) Clean the grossness of the wooden floors that my roommate and I have successfully tracked in due to snow and the overall filth factor of where we live.
9) Try to spend time with some friends :-) (Gotta' throw some fun in there somewhere).
10) Finally mail gifts to people who have very belated Christmas presents coming.
11) I don't like this number.
12)This is a reach - maybe, attack my basement.
13) Go to the BMV for my stupid new PINK drivers license. Why we have to have a "salmon" colored drivers license is beyond me...
I'll let you all know how well this goes and of course if there is any news.
Congrats to those who have gotten invites recently :-) I can't wait to hear about your journeys!
Philanthropic dentists and bean sprouts
This morning I went to my dentist for my semi-annual cleaning. I' really weird about my teeth so I tend to stay on top of my cleanings almost exactly every 6 months. I've also seriously contemplated dentistry as a future career path post corps.
So as boring as that is, I'd just like to share how much I love my dentist because he and his (also dentist) wife are major world travelers and philanthropists. They spend at least 1 month a year traveling and helping out small villages (typically in Africa). They also adopted 2 little boys from there. So not only do I get the satisfaction of a minty fresh mouth when I leave, but just knowing that when I get my bill in the mail, at least part of that is going towards something good.
So, still no word from the Peace Corps. This worries me a lot considering I'm supposed to leave in February and I don't even know who my placement officer is and if they changed my assignment. Though I know I should wait, I did buy a few things for the Corps to help me quell the my RAS (Restless Applicant Syndrome). Just a few ecologically friendly water bottles with adorable designs on them that can be strapped to a carabiner on long walks or hikes. I'm also planning on purchasing another new journal and a reusable cloth bag with that peace quote I put up about a week ago on it.
And on a really random note, I love bean sprouts. They are super tasty and I love when Noodles and Co. loads up my Japanese pan noodles with them.
I hope everyone is doing well. Cheers all.
So as boring as that is, I'd just like to share how much I love my dentist because he and his (also dentist) wife are major world travelers and philanthropists. They spend at least 1 month a year traveling and helping out small villages (typically in Africa). They also adopted 2 little boys from there. So not only do I get the satisfaction of a minty fresh mouth when I leave, but just knowing that when I get my bill in the mail, at least part of that is going towards something good.
So, still no word from the Peace Corps. This worries me a lot considering I'm supposed to leave in February and I don't even know who my placement officer is and if they changed my assignment. Though I know I should wait, I did buy a few things for the Corps to help me quell the my RAS (Restless Applicant Syndrome). Just a few ecologically friendly water bottles with adorable designs on them that can be strapped to a carabiner on long walks or hikes. I'm also planning on purchasing another new journal and a reusable cloth bag with that peace quote I put up about a week ago on it.
And on a really random note, I love bean sprouts. They are super tasty and I love when Noodles and Co. loads up my Japanese pan noodles with them.
I hope everyone is doing well. Cheers all.
Holiday Wishes to All
No matter what your denomination is, I hope all of you have are having a very Happy Holiday season.
That's all :-)
That's all :-)
For my fellow Peace Corps applicants
“Peace. It does not mean to be in a place where there is no noise, trouble or hard work. It means to be in the midst of those things and still be calm in your heart.” - unknown
Thought you all would like that as much as I did. :-)
That's all for today.
Thought you all would like that as much as I did. :-)
That's all for today.
From backwards to forwards, sort of...
My heart literally stopped this morning when I saw the "status updated" e-mail we all aspire for in my e-mail this morning.
After sending several e-mails yesterday and finally getting the right department, today my mind was set at ease, that once again, after my appendectomy, I am indeed MEDICALLY CLEARED (again)!!! No invite, but I'll take it. It's forward progress.
Even though I don't celebrate Christmas, everyone around me does, so I've been doing the Christmas thing. Almost everything I asked for is something I can take with me to the Corps. Also my closest friends, who know all about me (hopefully) going to the Peace Corps sent me related items. So I've got some Nalgene and metal eco friendly water bottles that I asked for, I received a really, really nice journal and some blank cards with adorable kittens on them with a really nice note about writing and sharing memories from my BF4E Kelly. I got some books from my friend Meghan, one written by a former Peace Corps volunteer. However, I'm still dreaming Santa will bring me an invite, though I'm not getting my hopes up too high.
I'm looking forward to Saturday for one main reason though...a nap. Once I get home from work, I am going to curl up in my nice warm bed, turn off any alarm that could possibly go off and sleep until my body has had its fill. I really need it. I've been super stressed lately due to working both jobs and also worried about placement and being placed in time/given enough notice to get my things together and say goodbye. So hopefully a nice long nap will help out.
Anyway, I have to get going. I have to work early today and on top of that, I'm going to have to fight the dreaded snow...
And of course, Congratulations goes out to a certain lady that reads my blog that was invited to Uganda!! :-) WOOHOO!!!
After sending several e-mails yesterday and finally getting the right department, today my mind was set at ease, that once again, after my appendectomy, I am indeed MEDICALLY CLEARED (again)!!! No invite, but I'll take it. It's forward progress.
Even though I don't celebrate Christmas, everyone around me does, so I've been doing the Christmas thing. Almost everything I asked for is something I can take with me to the Corps. Also my closest friends, who know all about me (hopefully) going to the Peace Corps sent me related items. So I've got some Nalgene and metal eco friendly water bottles that I asked for, I received a really, really nice journal and some blank cards with adorable kittens on them with a really nice note about writing and sharing memories from my BF4E Kelly. I got some books from my friend Meghan, one written by a former Peace Corps volunteer. However, I'm still dreaming Santa will bring me an invite, though I'm not getting my hopes up too high.
I'm looking forward to Saturday for one main reason though...a nap. Once I get home from work, I am going to curl up in my nice warm bed, turn off any alarm that could possibly go off and sleep until my body has had its fill. I really need it. I've been super stressed lately due to working both jobs and also worried about placement and being placed in time/given enough notice to get my things together and say goodbye. So hopefully a nice long nap will help out.
Anyway, I have to get going. I have to work early today and on top of that, I'm going to have to fight the dreaded snow...
And of course, Congratulations goes out to a certain lady that reads my blog that was invited to Uganda!! :-) WOOHOO!!!
Some passages from Henry Rollins
Henry Rollins is my hero. I wish I was half as smart as he is. So as I was re-reading one of his many books, I felt the need to share some of his passages. I am not the owner of these passages, but I really don't think he'd mind me sharing his infinite wisdom.
"I am paranoid of my brain. It thinks all the time, even when I'm asleep. My thoughts assail me. Murderous leachers they are. Thought is the assassin of thought. Like a man stabbing himself to Death with one hand while the other hand tries in vain to stop the blade. Like an explosion that destroys the detonator. I am paranoid of my brain. It makes me unsettled and ill at ease. Makes me chase my tail, freezes my eyes and shuts me down. Watches me. Eats my head. Destroys me."
"As your nerves bend and twist to accommodate yes unexperienced force, new though and mutant hallucination come into light. I heard about this nervous breakdown that's been going around. Read a letter about how you broke down in the middle of nowhere, which is everywhere when you're broken down. Open your eyes. Your tears cut a trail. Your scars build a ladder that takes you to a place that you could not have gotten to any other way. Take a look around, remember every second, every breath, every choked scream. Scar tissue is stronger than regular tissue. Realize the strength. Move on."
Just some feelings for thought. I hope everyone enjoys.
"I am paranoid of my brain. It thinks all the time, even when I'm asleep. My thoughts assail me. Murderous leachers they are. Thought is the assassin of thought. Like a man stabbing himself to Death with one hand while the other hand tries in vain to stop the blade. Like an explosion that destroys the detonator. I am paranoid of my brain. It makes me unsettled and ill at ease. Makes me chase my tail, freezes my eyes and shuts me down. Watches me. Eats my head. Destroys me."
"As your nerves bend and twist to accommodate yes unexperienced force, new though and mutant hallucination come into light. I heard about this nervous breakdown that's been going around. Read a letter about how you broke down in the middle of nowhere, which is everywhere when you're broken down. Open your eyes. Your tears cut a trail. Your scars build a ladder that takes you to a place that you could not have gotten to any other way. Take a look around, remember every second, every breath, every choked scream. Scar tissue is stronger than regular tissue. Realize the strength. Move on."
Just some feelings for thought. I hope everyone enjoys.
Furniture, phones and cookies galore
Though I am not completely accepted yet, I sold my first piece of furniture today after many weeks of sifting through shady people from craigslist. I mainly sold it because even if I don't get in, it's something I really don't need and was in great condition. A 4 year old futon. I sold it to a really nice music professor and his wife from one of my alma maters. I got $175 for it, so that's not bad at all.
Granted, that $175 went straight towards a new phone. My replacement phone finally kicked it, so I had to unwillingly upgrade my phone and sign a new contract. On the bright side, my new phone is GLOBALLY capable. If I get in, I'll know if I can use it where I may be going. If I can't use it, it's worth is pretty high on the market, so maybe I'll break even and be able to pay off my early termination fee without any dents to my pocket.
As for the cookies, once this nice couple picks up their futon, if I don't hear from my workaholic boyfriend in time for the movie, I am going to either make a ton of cookies for the holiday season or some of chefs chocolate salty balls :-) I may be a ridiculous South Park fan... I even told my boss I'd consider making them for our potluck Tuesday. We shall see. I'm not looking forward to the lines at Wally World though.
On the Peace Corps side, it's not looking likely for me to know by Christmas. My doctor sent out a fax this past Friday saying I'm fine to go post surgery, but my status wasn't updated. If they don't update by Thursday, I'm going to have to have my surgeon fax stuff in too. I am BUSTING to know. Hopefully I'll know soon.
On a random note, I'd just like to say, that my foster mom who normally sends out boring Christmas cards, happened to pick what I think may be the card with the most glitter per square inch legally allowed on a card. It's really pretty, however, my work pants, car, desk and floor are now also covered in this festive glitter. Anyone have any suggestions on how to best clean up what a vacuum doesn't pick up?
Anyway, hopefully I'll have good news soon. Until then...
Granted, that $175 went straight towards a new phone. My replacement phone finally kicked it, so I had to unwillingly upgrade my phone and sign a new contract. On the bright side, my new phone is GLOBALLY capable. If I get in, I'll know if I can use it where I may be going. If I can't use it, it's worth is pretty high on the market, so maybe I'll break even and be able to pay off my early termination fee without any dents to my pocket.
As for the cookies, once this nice couple picks up their futon, if I don't hear from my workaholic boyfriend in time for the movie, I am going to either make a ton of cookies for the holiday season or some of chefs chocolate salty balls :-) I may be a ridiculous South Park fan... I even told my boss I'd consider making them for our potluck Tuesday. We shall see. I'm not looking forward to the lines at Wally World though.
On the Peace Corps side, it's not looking likely for me to know by Christmas. My doctor sent out a fax this past Friday saying I'm fine to go post surgery, but my status wasn't updated. If they don't update by Thursday, I'm going to have to have my surgeon fax stuff in too. I am BUSTING to know. Hopefully I'll know soon.
On a random note, I'd just like to say, that my foster mom who normally sends out boring Christmas cards, happened to pick what I think may be the card with the most glitter per square inch legally allowed on a card. It's really pretty, however, my work pants, car, desk and floor are now also covered in this festive glitter. Anyone have any suggestions on how to best clean up what a vacuum doesn't pick up?
Anyway, hopefully I'll have good news soon. Until then...
Maybe medically cleared again??? MAYBE??? MAYBE?????
So I went to my family doctor, who is a pretty awesome dude, for my 1 week (even though its only been 5 days) follow up after my surgery. He was really cool, answered all my questions and as he's done all my medical work for the peace corps, was really nice about getting a note faxed out TODAY to the PC Medical office - in particular my assigned nurse, so I can get RE-medically cleared to leave. I can pretty much resume life as usual. I'm going to be sore and he doesn't recommend me lifting anything over 10 pounds for another week or so, but other than that I'm good to go. So if they write the letter ASAP and fax it in today, maybe I'll be medically cleared again by Monday.
On a random note, though I don't like Christmas, I do love getting mail. I've been arranging a little card forrest in my living room, which my cat persistently continues to knock down. I'm enjoying my little area filled with cards, though I do need to find a way to kitten-poof it.
So for now, I'm going to head off to my full-time job and finish off my work week there. I'm working both days at my second job this weekend, as it's the holidays. I may break down and buy myself a Kindle this weekend as well. There are far more important things I need, but I really really want one... though I probably won't end up actually buying one, it's nice to dream about it.
So until next time I'm going to continue singing everyone's favorite Christmas carol *to the tune of all I want for Christmas is my 2 front teeth* All I want for Christmas is my Peace Corps Invite...
On a random note, though I don't like Christmas, I do love getting mail. I've been arranging a little card forrest in my living room, which my cat persistently continues to knock down. I'm enjoying my little area filled with cards, though I do need to find a way to kitten-poof it.
So for now, I'm going to head off to my full-time job and finish off my work week there. I'm working both days at my second job this weekend, as it's the holidays. I may break down and buy myself a Kindle this weekend as well. There are far more important things I need, but I really really want one... though I probably won't end up actually buying one, it's nice to dream about it.
So until next time I'm going to continue singing everyone's favorite Christmas carol *to the tune of all I want for Christmas is my 2 front teeth* All I want for Christmas is my Peace Corps Invite...
Admitting my addiction to overworking
While laying in bed last night in more pain than I was in before I had my appendix out, I realized that I am pushing myself too hard and that my body literally can't take it anymore.
I'm broke, but 2 jobs is too much and I need to talk to my boss at my PT gig and tell him I can't work 7 days a week anymore. It may literally kill me if I do. I feel guilty too because he wrote one of my recommendations for the Peace Corps. I just keep telling myself people work more than that and that I should be able to do it too. I feel like I'm failing because I'm not handling my life like I used to when I was younger working 4 jobs just to keep a roof over my head. I just can't ask for help. I never have and hopefully never will have to. Everything I've accomplished in my life I've done alone for the most part, and I'd like to continue that trend, but right now, I just have this sense that I'm doing more harm than good.
In the meantime I learned I have to work 8-11:30 tomorrow, take a few hours off to see a friend and a doctor, then proceed to my FT job. Then work another 8 hours on Saturday. Hopefully somewhere in there I get a shower, some sleep and don't die on the snow covered roads.
Maybe I'll just plead for Sunday off. Who knows. I just know that something needs to change and soon. I hate feeling like I'm on this plateau and that my life is going nowhere - if anywhere it's going backwards.
Hopefully I'll gain some clarity soon. I desperately need it.
I'm broke, but 2 jobs is too much and I need to talk to my boss at my PT gig and tell him I can't work 7 days a week anymore. It may literally kill me if I do. I feel guilty too because he wrote one of my recommendations for the Peace Corps. I just keep telling myself people work more than that and that I should be able to do it too. I feel like I'm failing because I'm not handling my life like I used to when I was younger working 4 jobs just to keep a roof over my head. I just can't ask for help. I never have and hopefully never will have to. Everything I've accomplished in my life I've done alone for the most part, and I'd like to continue that trend, but right now, I just have this sense that I'm doing more harm than good.
In the meantime I learned I have to work 8-11:30 tomorrow, take a few hours off to see a friend and a doctor, then proceed to my FT job. Then work another 8 hours on Saturday. Hopefully somewhere in there I get a shower, some sleep and don't die on the snow covered roads.
Maybe I'll just plead for Sunday off. Who knows. I just know that something needs to change and soon. I hate feeling like I'm on this plateau and that my life is going nowhere - if anywhere it's going backwards.
Hopefully I'll gain some clarity soon. I desperately need it.
A little bit of post-meltdown news...
So neurotically I e-mailed the nice lady I left a voicemail for yesterday. Today she let me know that she did indeed received my voicemail yesterday letting them know about my surgery. She also was nice enough to forward my e-mail to the super nice nurse that was assigned my file many moons ago for medical review.
The, I actually get a PHONE CALL from said super-nice nurse. Once I saw the 202 area code I thought I was going to stop breathing and my heart was going to stop beating.
So the news was bittersweet and left me a bit in the dark, but at least I know what to do now.
First, I'm being placed BACK on the dreaded medical hold. It's mandatory, so she told me not to freak out when I see it on my application. I need to get clearance saying I'll be able to hold luggage and haul stuff from my doctor and preferably my surgeon too and to fax it to them ASAP. I have an appointment with my family doctor on Friday and hopefully with my surgeon next week and then I can maybe, *crosses fingers super tightly* get things squared away.
So that's the bad part, the GOOD part is that she's putting a note on the file saying that it's STILL OK to offer me an invite for February and she said March as well. I told her my invite was for February, but she said just in case she'll mention March too. There are 0 programs that match in March according to the timeline, so does this mean I'm up in the air again? I definitely read into things way too much. Who knows. I'm just going to keep singing my new Christmas carol that I mentioned in my earlier post.
*sings poorly* All I want for Christmas is my PC Invite. My PC invite My PC invite....
P.S. In case anyone was wondering - your belly-button can bruise. I learned this today while checking the incision by my navel.
The, I actually get a PHONE CALL from said super-nice nurse. Once I saw the 202 area code I thought I was going to stop breathing and my heart was going to stop beating.
So the news was bittersweet and left me a bit in the dark, but at least I know what to do now.
First, I'm being placed BACK on the dreaded medical hold. It's mandatory, so she told me not to freak out when I see it on my application. I need to get clearance saying I'll be able to hold luggage and haul stuff from my doctor and preferably my surgeon too and to fax it to them ASAP. I have an appointment with my family doctor on Friday and hopefully with my surgeon next week and then I can maybe, *crosses fingers super tightly* get things squared away.
So that's the bad part, the GOOD part is that she's putting a note on the file saying that it's STILL OK to offer me an invite for February and she said March as well. I told her my invite was for February, but she said just in case she'll mention March too. There are 0 programs that match in March according to the timeline, so does this mean I'm up in the air again? I definitely read into things way too much. Who knows. I'm just going to keep singing my new Christmas carol that I mentioned in my earlier post.
*sings poorly* All I want for Christmas is my PC Invite. My PC invite My PC invite....
P.S. In case anyone was wondering - your belly-button can bruise. I learned this today while checking the incision by my navel.
Attempts to get a hold of the PC medical office and a lot of crying
So yesterday I tried to get a hold of anyone that I've corresponded with in any of the Peace Corps offices trying to tell them about my appendectomy in fear of being reprimanded for non-disclosure. Several voice mails and a day later, still nothing.
I'm super scared I'm not going to be allowed in after this and terrified of being postponed. It wouldn't be the end of the world, but I've been through such a ride (physically and emotionally) this far and I feel like I'm not even close to getting an invitation from what I can tell despite my February 2011 departure date and full clearances, well, they were full clearances
Between all of this, my surgery, the lonely holiday season and the stress of money and my awful jobs, I broke down and cried, for a good 2 hours to my best friend Christina. I just couldn't handle all the stress. I really needed to just cry. I know I should be thankful for having a roof over my head, it's just hard to be when you're not sure if it'll still be there next month because you had to take a few days off to have an unplanned surgery. I wok so hard at being a positive person and not being a "Negative Nancy", but I really needed to let it all out.
Christina is an amazingly positive person and I'm very lucky to have her in my life as my friend. I just want this so bad and not seeing even a glimmer of hope is really hard for me. I mean, it really all goes back to the fact that I've worked so hard in life trying to live the stereotypical American dream and have never seen one bit of reward for my work and once things start seeming okay something huge and bad happens. I just get frustrated. I went to school, never got in trouble, worked through HS, college and graduate school and did well in all of them (3.7 GPA in grad school) and now work 2 barely paid jobs to sometimes keep a roof over my head without having to ask for money. I know people are way worse of a situtation all around, and I want to be out there and helping those people, it's just a struggle to do so when in this economy I can barely provide for myself. One of my friends from high school sent me $50 to go buy groceries with after seeing a Facebook post I wrote about a week ago trying to find the best way to stretch $20 for 10 days of groceries.
I've just gotten so down this past week I need to remember what it's like to look up again.
One of Christina's favorite sayings is "Be more like Spongebob and less like Squidward." So that's my goal for this week. Hopefully I'll heal enough to be back at at least one of my jobs tomorrow and start making money again and hopefully my surgery won't affect my potential leave date. Only time will tell.
Until then, I'll just keep singing the only Christmas song I know because I just made it up:
*To the tune of All I want for Christmas is my 2 front teeth* "All I want for Christmas is my PC Invite.
I'm super scared I'm not going to be allowed in after this and terrified of being postponed. It wouldn't be the end of the world, but I've been through such a ride (physically and emotionally) this far and I feel like I'm not even close to getting an invitation from what I can tell despite my February 2011 departure date and full clearances, well, they were full clearances
Between all of this, my surgery, the lonely holiday season and the stress of money and my awful jobs, I broke down and cried, for a good 2 hours to my best friend Christina. I just couldn't handle all the stress. I really needed to just cry. I know I should be thankful for having a roof over my head, it's just hard to be when you're not sure if it'll still be there next month because you had to take a few days off to have an unplanned surgery. I wok so hard at being a positive person and not being a "Negative Nancy", but I really needed to let it all out.
Christina is an amazingly positive person and I'm very lucky to have her in my life as my friend. I just want this so bad and not seeing even a glimmer of hope is really hard for me. I mean, it really all goes back to the fact that I've worked so hard in life trying to live the stereotypical American dream and have never seen one bit of reward for my work and once things start seeming okay something huge and bad happens. I just get frustrated. I went to school, never got in trouble, worked through HS, college and graduate school and did well in all of them (3.7 GPA in grad school) and now work 2 barely paid jobs to sometimes keep a roof over my head without having to ask for money. I know people are way worse of a situtation all around, and I want to be out there and helping those people, it's just a struggle to do so when in this economy I can barely provide for myself. One of my friends from high school sent me $50 to go buy groceries with after seeing a Facebook post I wrote about a week ago trying to find the best way to stretch $20 for 10 days of groceries.
I've just gotten so down this past week I need to remember what it's like to look up again.
One of Christina's favorite sayings is "Be more like Spongebob and less like Squidward." So that's my goal for this week. Hopefully I'll heal enough to be back at at least one of my jobs tomorrow and start making money again and hopefully my surgery won't affect my potential leave date. Only time will tell.
Until then, I'll just keep singing the only Christmas song I know because I just made it up:
*To the tune of All I want for Christmas is my 2 front teeth* "All I want for Christmas is my PC Invite.
Stupid organ evolution should have gotten rid of ages ago...
So, I've been having stomach issues the past few weeks along with cold and flu symptoms, but primarily bad stomach pains. I've been to 2 doctors and put on 6+ different medications. Friday night it got so bad that I ended up in the ER.
Stinking appendicitis. The doctor even said that unless if they didn't do a cat scan they wouldn't have known. It presented itself in a very odd way and although I had stomach pain, it was never on the right side. Always the left.
So yesterday I had a laproscopic (spelling?) appendectomy and have 3 small scars. I'm also going to be crazy bloated for the next several weeks and am desperately hoping my doctor gives me permission to shower today.
So I know I'm going to have to tell the corps about this and I am not looking forward to it. I really don't want to be postponed, but I can almost guarantee that's what will happen. I think the fact that this is going to almost inevitably mess things up for me hurts more than I do post-op. I'm extremely upset and distraught even just over the concept, even more scared of that than the bill I will inevitably receive from the hospital as well.
Well, I hope everyone else is having better luck. I'll let you guys know what's up as soon as I know.
Stinking appendicitis. The doctor even said that unless if they didn't do a cat scan they wouldn't have known. It presented itself in a very odd way and although I had stomach pain, it was never on the right side. Always the left.
So yesterday I had a laproscopic (spelling?) appendectomy and have 3 small scars. I'm also going to be crazy bloated for the next several weeks and am desperately hoping my doctor gives me permission to shower today.
So I know I'm going to have to tell the corps about this and I am not looking forward to it. I really don't want to be postponed, but I can almost guarantee that's what will happen. I think the fact that this is going to almost inevitably mess things up for me hurts more than I do post-op. I'm extremely upset and distraught even just over the concept, even more scared of that than the bill I will inevitably receive from the hospital as well.
Well, I hope everyone else is having better luck. I'll let you guys know what's up as soon as I know.
2 minute conversation with the placement office
So my regional office gave me the phone number for the placement office in DC. So thank you to fellow applicant Melissa for trying to help me out.
After some button pushing, I actually got straight through to an extremely nice woman. There are a few programs in the region that I was nominated for that are leaving between January and March, but I was told that they have my application and nothing was missing (which was my biggest fear) and that they are getting to it in order of priority. I was asked to continue being patient, which is very difficult to do as you all know, but I am promising myself I will not harass them and not to call again unless requested. At least I know they have everything. I'm just terrified something will go wrong, but that's just the Negative Nancy in me.
I was just starting to get concerned after reading many logs where people were getting shut out of their programs due to the volume of applicants and also people getting their official invite many, many months before they are supposed to leave. We're talking 4-8 months. So now I just have to be patient and keep my chin up and hope for the best.
On a random note, though I'm not big on celebrating the holiday season, I do love getting mail, even if it just has my name and is signed at the bottom (I'm big on writing personal messages to every single person I write to). I also sent out all of my generic happy winter cards with their personalized messages inside. Considering I've been writing them slowly but surely since last month, there was an odd sense of accomplishment attached to it.
Well, that's all for now. I'm going to try to distract myself now and try not to read too many blogs today and just hope for the best.
I hope everyone out there is doing well :-)
After some button pushing, I actually got straight through to an extremely nice woman. There are a few programs in the region that I was nominated for that are leaving between January and March, but I was told that they have my application and nothing was missing (which was my biggest fear) and that they are getting to it in order of priority. I was asked to continue being patient, which is very difficult to do as you all know, but I am promising myself I will not harass them and not to call again unless requested. At least I know they have everything. I'm just terrified something will go wrong, but that's just the Negative Nancy in me.
I was just starting to get concerned after reading many logs where people were getting shut out of their programs due to the volume of applicants and also people getting their official invite many, many months before they are supposed to leave. We're talking 4-8 months. So now I just have to be patient and keep my chin up and hope for the best.
On a random note, though I'm not big on celebrating the holiday season, I do love getting mail, even if it just has my name and is signed at the bottom (I'm big on writing personal messages to every single person I write to). I also sent out all of my generic happy winter cards with their personalized messages inside. Considering I've been writing them slowly but surely since last month, there was an odd sense of accomplishment attached to it.
Well, that's all for now. I'm going to try to distract myself now and try not to read too many blogs today and just hope for the best.
I hope everyone out there is doing well :-)
Restless Applicant
I'll admit, I've been extra restless as of late, and now after reading many, many blogs (you all know you did it too), I'm starting to become concerned that I haven't had my final interview or received my invitation.
This has been a lifelong dream for me and I know the old saying is that you shouldn't put all your eggs into one basket, but I did and I'm starting to worry about those eggs now.
So, not sure if I mentioned it in my last post, but the program I was nominated for is supposed to leave in February 2011 - a mere 2 months away. I have read of several volunteers who are leaving much later in the year and have already received their invitations. I've also found out that I am supposed to have a final interview, which I had no idea is part of the process. I have not been contacted about that either.
So out of concern, I reached out to the RPCV who interviewed me to find out that she is no longer working with the Peace Corps. So I had to send an e-mail to the regional office instead. I haven't heard anything since I was medically cleared last month. (My last correspondence with anyone, was November 18. 2010). I know I am supposed to be patient, and I am, but I am terrified at the prospect that something has gone awry or that I'll be postponed. I'm so nervous and worried that I think I'm going to cry.
Hopefully I'll hear something soon. From someone. A little glimmer of hope perhaps.
Until then, I'll at least try to hide that I'm a neurotic mess right now. I was doing so well and I was so calm for so long... I think it's just because it's getting closer. But I'm sure I've already said that... such a mess.
Until then, I'm going to try to distract myself with finishing up my holiday card writing and sending them out. Hopefully that will due.
This has been a lifelong dream for me and I know the old saying is that you shouldn't put all your eggs into one basket, but I did and I'm starting to worry about those eggs now.
So, not sure if I mentioned it in my last post, but the program I was nominated for is supposed to leave in February 2011 - a mere 2 months away. I have read of several volunteers who are leaving much later in the year and have already received their invitations. I've also found out that I am supposed to have a final interview, which I had no idea is part of the process. I have not been contacted about that either.
So out of concern, I reached out to the RPCV who interviewed me to find out that she is no longer working with the Peace Corps. So I had to send an e-mail to the regional office instead. I haven't heard anything since I was medically cleared last month. (My last correspondence with anyone, was November 18. 2010). I know I am supposed to be patient, and I am, but I am terrified at the prospect that something has gone awry or that I'll be postponed. I'm so nervous and worried that I think I'm going to cry.
Hopefully I'll hear something soon. From someone. A little glimmer of hope perhaps.
Until then, I'll at least try to hide that I'm a neurotic mess right now. I was doing so well and I was so calm for so long... I think it's just because it's getting closer. But I'm sure I've already said that... such a mess.
Until then, I'm going to try to distract myself with finishing up my holiday card writing and sending them out. Hopefully that will due.
A little history and the Peace Corps Process
Hello cyber world of bloggers :-)
So I'm a little late on this whole blogging thing and I'll keep this post short, but let's just say I'm an avid traveler (30 countries and counting) with a really philanthropic tendency.
The primary reason for this blog is to keep up with my application and the whole Peace Corps process.
I started applying to the United States Peace Corps back in April. I didn't realize until now that there is a network of blogs. Now that I know this, this blog is created.
So if any fellow applicants read this, this has been my timeline thus far.
Application started in April.
Application finished in June.
Recommendations finished early July (there were some technical difficulties on the end of one of my recommendations)
Interview July 20th.
Preliminary Nomination: July 22nd. Latin America or the Caribbean, February 2011.
Legal Clearance: Sometime in August.
Medical Kit: Finished late August (took a bit for me to find a surgeon to yank out some wisdom teeth).
Dentally Cleared: Early September.
Medically Cleared: Mid November.
Current Status: Waiting on placement and extremely excited!!!
I'm extremely interested in seeing what other applicants are going through and how they are preparing. The only thing I am doing right now is starting to ween down some of my unnecessary belongings. Things that should have been gone some time ago. Selling what I can, the rest is either donated, recycled, or if absolutely necessary, going into the garbage (about 5% of things).
I want to start doing some language learning, but that is really difficult considering that I don't know where I'm going and since things can change overnight. Once I do know where I'm going, I'd love to start some of that. Does anyone have any suggestions?
Anyway, I have to run and get things done for today, but I'm very excited to be more connected with other applicants, current and returned volunteers. I'll work on making my blog prettier later on as well.
I hope everyone is having a great day!
Ciao!
So I'm a little late on this whole blogging thing and I'll keep this post short, but let's just say I'm an avid traveler (30 countries and counting) with a really philanthropic tendency.
The primary reason for this blog is to keep up with my application and the whole Peace Corps process.
I started applying to the United States Peace Corps back in April. I didn't realize until now that there is a network of blogs. Now that I know this, this blog is created.
So if any fellow applicants read this, this has been my timeline thus far.
Application started in April.
Application finished in June.
Recommendations finished early July (there were some technical difficulties on the end of one of my recommendations)
Interview July 20th.
Preliminary Nomination: July 22nd. Latin America or the Caribbean, February 2011.
Legal Clearance: Sometime in August.
Medical Kit: Finished late August (took a bit for me to find a surgeon to yank out some wisdom teeth).
Dentally Cleared: Early September.
Medically Cleared: Mid November.
Current Status: Waiting on placement and extremely excited!!!
I'm extremely interested in seeing what other applicants are going through and how they are preparing. The only thing I am doing right now is starting to ween down some of my unnecessary belongings. Things that should have been gone some time ago. Selling what I can, the rest is either donated, recycled, or if absolutely necessary, going into the garbage (about 5% of things).
I want to start doing some language learning, but that is really difficult considering that I don't know where I'm going and since things can change overnight. Once I do know where I'm going, I'd love to start some of that. Does anyone have any suggestions?
Anyway, I have to run and get things done for today, but I'm very excited to be more connected with other applicants, current and returned volunteers. I'll work on making my blog prettier later on as well.
I hope everyone is having a great day!
Ciao!
About Me
- S. Wanderlust
- I'm Stephanie, a 26 year old Social Worker who got bitten by the travel bug at a young age. My innate need to see the world and philanthropic ways have led me to become a Peace Corps volunteer leaving for Belize in March 2011 as a Youth HIV/AIDS Facilitator.
S. Wanderlust
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