To Visit or Not to Visit

Well, that was WAS the question. After learning that two of my friends back home in NY, Meghan and Barry are trying to create a good-bye gathering for me, how could I NOT go home? It's really sweet to know that, as I've mentioned in previous posts, I have AMAZING friends who love me and I'm so lucky to have them in my life.

So yes, on Wednesday I will get on my little plane and fly back to NYC. Though I am now staying with me parents instead.

I'm happy that my sister Kathy and her husband Matt are driving 4 HOURS from Pennsylvania on Saturday, to NY just to see me. She and her husband have been major rocks of support and although they both worry, which is understandable, they have been very supportive of my going to the Peace Corps. However when I ultimately have to say Goodbye to them, I'm probably going to cry like a baby. I'm very aware of this and have already accepted this fate.

I got some encouraging words from a cousin of mine, who is currently living and working with his wife and 2 children in Cambodia. I asked him about how he handled negative reactions to him going to cambodia and his advice was very helpful. My new response is now "Thank you for your concern" and changing the topic.

Things are slowly turning around, but I don't want to be too confident of that fact yet, as I have not gone to NY just yet.

I got my first, not one, but TWO e-mails from my Peace Corps pen pal today. Her advice is super helpful and it's nice to have that line of communication with someone who already went through the packing stages of things and she has already answered a bunch of my millions of questions that I have and am bound to continue to have.

That's really it for now. Time to get ready for a fun filled night of laundry, packing, netflix movies and resting. This is a big week for me, so we'll see how things go.

Last Day at Work

Today is my last day at work. Although I haven't always loved my job, I have always loved my co-workers, especially the ones on my team and a few others that I have forged some pretty special relationships with (Jesse, Archeshita, Perry, Laura, Cassadi, Barb, Elena, John, Harold and Sajid). I thought I would really enjoy this day, but I don't think I am going to as much as I may have thought a few months ago.

So tonight, despite the nasty gross icky weather outside, several of us are getting Bob Evans for dinner. I chose that for two reasons a) Because Breakfast food is my favorite food and b) It's vegetarian friendly and some of my friends at work are vegetarian. So that part of the night, I am definitely looking forward to.

I am going to try to sell more furniture on craigslist this weekend. SELL SELL SELL!!! That is my biggest goal.

I have not decided if I am going to cancel my trip to NY yet or not (see last blog). I love my friends, and that part of the trip will be fun, but most of it will be spent with family, where I'll be blatantly ignored, chastised and belittled. I'm not sure it's the healthiest thing for me to do right now considering the AMAZING experience I am about to embark on. More updates on that to come.

That's all for now. I'll try to update some more over the weekend. i hope everyone has a happy and safe weekend.

Is everyones family so destructive? Thank God for my friends.

I am going to preface this with one major thing: I AM STILL GOING TO THE PEACE CORPS.

So my brother told me to call him after work last night, so I did exactly that. I thought he wanted to talk to me about me staying with him next week. Instead, he wanted to yell at me for 1 1/2 hours and piss all over my Peace Corps dreams. He told me he's not going to come pick up my body when I die or get in trouble. He used our dead parents against me saying they wouldn't want me to go. He told me I need to get "a real job" and wants me to move back to NY, live with him, leverage my education, find a man, get married and have babies. He also said if I wanted to make a difference I could go to East Harlem and teach kids how to read, but to stay in the United States. He said I can't change anything in Belize. There are a lot more destructive things that were said, but I really can't handle going on with this negativity.

That is the opposite of everything I want for my life. I despise NY, I want to and am going to go the the Peace Corps because it is a real job, and it is MY job. I have been talking about this since I was in high school. This is the path I have chosen in my life, and it's really hard that so many people in my life cannot accept that this is a good thing. I'll get married one day, settle down and grow some roots somewhere, but now is not that time. I'm not ready to curl up and die yet.

Thank God I have so many amazing friends there to support me. Especially Meghan (my Meggles), who gave me the amazing advice that I need to stop letting toxic people "rent space" in my head and that sometimes "We have to make our own family". She's always been supportive and I know she always will be. Michael Allen, who told me to be safe and he knows I'll do well and Mike Carro, who is just a really supportive force for me. I have plenty of other supportive friends as well, and a few distant relatives (who I wish weren't so distant) are super supportive and loving.

I really wish I could shorten my trip to NY next week, but I know I have to find alternative sleeping arrangements, because after that "talk", I don't feel comfortable sleeping at his house. I'm sure I'll find somewhere to go. All of my friends are offering up spare bedrooms or couches.

Anyway, thanks for listening to my rant. I've got to get ready for work now. My face looks like I got beaten up, so that should mean a fun day at work.

I hope everyone has a great day.

Weekend and whatnot

So I didn't have as productive as a weekend as I had hoped, but I did have a productive weekend. I got my taxes done, I started attacking the dreaded closet. I made a pile for goodwill and a pile of things to sell. I DID sell my kitchen table and chairs. I haven't found a home for the rest of my furniture though (sadly) despite repeatedly posting it on craigslist every 2 days and continuously dropping the price. I may have a potential home for my amazingly wonderful cat though.

I did order a hammock from Hennessy Hammocks though. I got the ultra-light backpacker velcro version. It's what they recommended for me, plus I like that it's a bit lighter. Our discount made it worth the money, as I know I'll be abusing my new hammock.

http://www.hennessyhammock.com/catalogue.html

Honestly, I will probably end up sleeping in it more nights than not. The only other large purchases I have to make are some shoes, a good swiss army knife and a good rain coat. I've got my eye on some of the north face ones, but they're all out of stock right now.

I'm sure things will figure themselves out money wise for me, but I'm still a tiny bit worried. All my bills (minor ones) will be paid by the time I leave, I'm just really hoping to take care of them sooner rather than later. It's stressful not having them paid right now.

Anyway, I have to get ready to go run errands. I'm bringing some stuff to the used guitar shop by my house to sell. Things I bought from them. I refuse to sell my guitar though. But I really don't need to store an amp, guitar rack and music stand for 27 months. So maybe I'll get a few dollars from that. I'm hoping for the best...

Off to face the world in this awful ice and snow... Until next time.

Oh and...30 DAYS LEFT IN THE US!!!!!

Asking Too Much?

The following are Ani DiFranco lyrics that never cease to amaze me and it really speaks to how I feel today. They're the lyrics to the song Asking Too Much.

I want somebody who sees the pointlessness
And still keeps their purpose in mind
I want somebody who has a tortured soul
Some of the time
I want somebody who will either put out for me
Or put me out of misery
Or maybe just put it all to words
And make me say, you know
I never heard it put that way
Make me say, what did you just say?
I want somebody who can hold my interest
Hold it and never let it fall
Someone who can flatten me with a kiss
That hits like a fist
Or a sentence, that stops me like a brick wall
Because if you hear me talking
Listen to what I'm not saying
If you hear me playing guitar
Listen to what I'm not playing
And don't ask me to put words
To all the spaces between notes
In fact if you have to ask, forget it
Do and you'll regret it
I'm tired of being the interesting one
I'm tired of having fun for two
Just lay yourself on the line
And I might lay myself down by you
But don't sit behind your eyes
And wait for me to surprise you
I want somebody who can make me
Scream until it's funny
Give me a run for my money
I want someone who can
Twist me up in knots
Tell me, for the woman who has everything
What have you got?
I want someone who's not afraid of me
Or anyone else
In other words I want someone
Who's not afraid of themself
Do you think I'm asking too much?

Motivation and sales difficulty

So, I'm trying to find some motivation to pack. The main problem is limited space, which is why I wanted to sell my living room furniture early. The problem is, no one is biting or they're offering me $100-$200, which is just insulting considering its perfect condition. I know I'm not going to get nearly what I paid for it and I know the economy sticks, but really, throw me a bone here.

So yes, I should totally be packing right now. So, I'm going to try to work on that in the next hour.

33 days, 33 days. Hopefully I'll get staging info soon. Once that flight is booked I have a feeling I'll be in hyperdrive.

In the meantime, I'm going to go back to posting things on craigslist.

Hopeful Accomplishments

So, I'm hoping I can abuse the privilege of having a 3 day weekend.

So this week is still crawling by. That I will admit. At least it's Friday.

My goal for the weekend is to sell my living room furniture and kitchen table. Then promptly use that money to pay off a bunch of bills. I am also going to file my taxes - I made my appointment today. I'm hoping to pack at least 2 large tubs and go through the stuff in my basement and my closet. Then make a giant trip to good will. Those are the main goals. I have some other goals in mind, but those are the primary ones. Maybe I'll do something fun during that time like order myself a bathing suit or two from Victoria's Secret (since we were told to bring a bathing suit). So much to do, but so exciting! ONLY 34 DAYS LEFT!!!!

So though I was totally complaining about this paleo diet - it's pretty amazing. It's weird, even with the mild diet cheating I already feel a lot better and I'm not as hungry. I had a great workout this morning. I am buying a TRX today off of craigslist to take with me to the Peace Corps (2lbs worth the weight) and my trainer is gong to show me how to use it. It also has DVDs. I have to order the door mount though. At the end of the day I'm still saving $90, so it's worth it.

Alright, off to make some shrimp for lunch! I'll try to update this weekend.